I’ve been on a decluttering kick the last few weeks — slowly going through one thing at a time.
This week, I opened a little end table I haven’t touched since I moved two years ago. And buried in there was a bracelet I bought for me and the other woman I graduated the fire academy with.
It said: “Prove Them Wrong.”
At the time, it meant everything. Strength. Grit. That “I’ll outwork anyone in this room” energy.
So I’m sitting there, kind of smiling, replaying memories… and I decide to put it on.
And I cannot. close. the clasp.
Not a normal clasp either. This thing was like a Chinese finger trap with magnets. You had to twist it just right and somehow line it up.
I’m sitting there for 20 minutes, fully committed like this is now my life’s purpose... surrounded by the mess I just created by emptying out the end table... But that no longer mattered.
The only thing that mattered was figuring out this clasp.
And I KNEW it had to be easy. There HAD to be some trick to it. Right? What was I doing wrong that I just. couldn't. clasp it?!
Meanwhile, Nick is across the room, watching this whole thing unfold like it’s a nature documentary.
He jokingly poked, “You get so hyper-focused on the most meaningless things.”
Naturally, I doubled down.
“Okay then — YOU do it.”
He walks over, takes it, and within seconds… click.
Done.
I just stared at him.
Like — what just happened.
He goes, “You’re forcing it.”
Then he shows me.
You don’t push it.
You don’t muscle it.
You don’t try to dominate it into submission.
You position it correctly…
get it close enough…
…and the magnets do the rest.
It literally slides into place.
No effort. No force. No fight.
And I just sat there thinking…
how much of my life has looked exactly like that?
Trying to force things to fit.
Pushing harder when something isn’t clicking.
Staying in situations long after they stopped making sense…
because I thought effort was the answer.
Like if I just tried harder, proved more, pushed more… eventually it would work.
But what if that’s the problem?
What if the issue isn’t a lack of effort…
it’s misalignment?
Because there’s a difference between:
- Doing hard things that grow you
- And forcing things that drain you
One builds you.
The other slowly erodes you.
And we love to confuse the two.
We stay in the wrong relationships.
The wrong environments.
The wrong expectations of ourselves.
Not because we don’t see it.
But because we’ve trained ourselves to override it.
To push past the red flags.
To prove we can handle it.
To “make it work.”
But not everything is meant to be worked.
Some things are meant to be released.
I’m not saying life isn’t supposed to be hard.
It is.
Growth is uncomfortable.
Expansion stretches you.
But alignment?
Alignment doesn’t feel like fighting something that won’t move. It feels like things clicking into place once you stop gripping so tightly.
I’ve spent a lot of my life being, as I like to say, a stubborn mule — learning everything the hard way.
But I’m starting to question that.
Not in a soft, “everything should be easy” kind of way. But in a “what am I still forcing that I already have my answer on?” kind of way.
Because if I’m being honest…
there were plenty of times I knew.
I just didn’t listen.
And if you're curious about what that Chinese finger trap...err bracelet clasp looked like... here ya go (also, if you hear heaving breathing, that's Mookie, I promise!):
This week’s Nervous System Regulation...
The “Where Am I Forcing It?” Audit
Take a minute and ask yourself:
Where in your life are you still trying to force something to work…
that isn’t naturally coming together?
Maybe it’s:
- A relationship you’ve been overextending in
- A job or role that feels like constant friction
- An identity you’ve outgrown but keep performing
- A decision you already know the answer to
Don’t overthink it.
Whatever comes up first is usually the one.
Then ask:
What would happen if I stopped forcing this…
and just let it show me what it actually is?
Not fix it.
Not control it.
Just… observe it without interference.
Because maybe… just maybe…
it’s not that life is hard…
it’s that you’ve been trying to close the clasp the wrong way.
And the second you stop forcing it, everything either falls into place…
or shows you it was never meant to.
Either way, you get your answer.
Burn the Blueprint: Identity Reset
I officially have hard copies of the Burn the Blueprint workbook.
If you’re someone who hates doing everything on a screen… same.
There’s something different about having it in your hands, writing things out, flipping back through it.
So now — when you enroll in the 4-week program, you’ll have the option to add the physical workbook.
You’ll still get the full experience:
- 4 Brainspotting sessions
- the full digital download
…but now you can actually sit with it, write in it, and work through it in a way that doesn’t feel like another tab open on your laptop.
For more information on the program check it out here:
[Burn the Blueprint: 4 week Self-paced Identity Reset]
Here's a quick teaser video so you can see what it looks like. The pups are also just as excited.
🎧 This Week on the Hustle Rebels Podcast
In case you missed the latest episode of Hustle Rebels, I’m joined by therapist and first responder specialist Steve Bisson, and we get into the topics of:
- leadership betrayal
- burnout inside toxic systems
- why people stay long after they know something’s wrong
- and why mental health still gets treated like something you’re supposed to “push through”
It was too good for one episode — so this is Part 1 of 2.
Part 2 drops tomorrow morning.
🎧 Listen here: [Why High Performers Stay in Toxic Systems (Part 1 with Steve Bisson)]
New here? Or feeling nostalgic?
Want to read previous newsletters?
Check em out here: [Read Previous Editions of The Weekly Recharge]
As always, I appreciate you guys and always here if you have questions or even a chat. Share the Weekly Recharge with a friend so they can be regulated just like you.
- Renae
Wayward Wellness Coaching
Hustle Rebels Podcast