A few weeks ago, I told you I was getting on a plane to Austin.
I talked about how just deciding to go had already started shifting something in me. How environment plays a bigger role than most people realize. How your brain literally becomes more open to change when you pull it out of autopilot.
I promised I'd let you know what came out of it.
Well — I've got something I didn't expect.
A pattern I finally couldn't ignore.
· · ·
You know I've been dealing with back pain since my surgery. It's been a rollercoaster — some days manageable, some days walking a couple of flat miles with the dogs is genuinely hard.
Here's what I've slowly started to piece together:
Every single time I leave Massachusetts, it goes away.
Doesn't matter where. Doesn't matter how long. Out of state — pain quiets down. Sometimes disappears entirely. Last August I was wearing heals in Orlando. In November I was in Colorado and hiked four miles. Mountain miles. During a stretch when flat ground at home was a struggle.
Then I land back at Logan and there it is — waiting at baggage claim like it never left.
I've chalked it up to coincidence more times than I'd like to admit. But at some point, coincidence runs out of runway.
One trip could be a fluke. But every trip?... That data becomes a slap in the face.
· · ·
And then I heard something that made it all click.
I was watching an interview with mindset coach Peter Crone on the Know Thyself podcast, and he said this:
"The opposite of ease is dis-ease. You cannot be healthy until you free your mind"
Watch the full interview here → Finding Freedom From Ego & Subconscious Limiting Beliefs | Peter Crone (it's a little long... just listen to it on 1.5x! haha. It's worth it)
Sit with that for a second.
A few weeks ago I gave you the science — novelty increases neuroplasticity, travel pulls your brain out of autopilot, environment shapes identity. All of that is real.
But this is pointing at something underneath that. Something less clinical and a lot more uncomfortable.
What if some of what your body is carrying isn't purely structural? What if it's the physical cost of staying in situations — patterns, dynamics, roles — that are slowly squeezing the ease right out of you?
That's not "all in your head." That's your nervous system being brutally honest when the rest of you won't be.
· · ·
So what's actually happening in Massachusetts?
I'll spare you the full details. But at the root of a lot of my stress is a pattern I'd bet money some of you recognize.
Not putting myself first. Not communicating my needs. And honestly — not even fully knowing what I want — because I've spent so long tuned into everyone else's frequency that my own signal has gone pretty quiet.
Recovering people pleaser, party of one. Probably party of many.
My body doesn't feel better out of state because Orlando, Colorado or Austin have magic air. It feels better because out there, I'm not abandoning myself the same way I do at home.
The environment isn't just geography.
It's the roles you play, the needs you swallow, and the version of yourself you keep defaulting to out of habit — or guilt — or simply not knowing there's another option.
· · ·
The hidden cost of people-pleasing isn't just burnout. It's physical.
Chronic people-pleasing keeps your nervous system in a low-grade state of threat. You're constantly scanning — am I okay, are they okay, did I say the wrong thing, did I take up too much space? That vigilance has a body.
It shows up as tension, inflammation, fatigue, and yes — pain. It's not weakness. It's what happens when your system has been running someone else's emergency protocol for too long.
· · ·
And a lot of us don't even know what we want anymore.
I've been hearing it from women around me constantly lately — tired of not feeling seen or heard, at work or at home. Carrying the invisible labor. Always putting everyone else first.
And then when there's finally space to focus on themselves, one of two things happens: they either don't know what they want anymore, or the people they spent years taking care of suddenly become offended that they're trying.
That's not a personality flaw. That's a survival adaptation — learned early, reinforced forever — that has genuinely outlived its usefulness. And I've got a podcast guest coming up soon who goes deep on exactly this. Stay tuned.
· · ·
Your nervous system has been trying to tell you something.
Stress doesn't just live in your head. It lives in your shoulders, your jaw, your gut, your lower back. When your needs go unspoken long enough, when you shrink yourself small enough, long enough — your body starts keeping the score whether you're ready to look at it or not.
The pain, the fatigue, the tension that won't quit — it's not always a structural problem. Sometimes it's a signal. And signals are worth listening to.
This week's nervous system tool: The Mental Rehearsal
Here's the thing about the desire check-in — knowing what you want is only half of it. The other half is actually believing you're allowed to have it. And that's where this comes in.
This mental rehearsal practice is something I've been using with clients — and honestly, myself — to help your nervous system rehearse the version of you who doesn't abandon herself. Not the fantasy version. The rebuilding version. The one who speaks clearly, holds the boundary without apologizing for it, and walks away from hard moments with I didn't abandon myself this time instead of the usual spiral.
Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between something you vividly rehearse and something you've actually lived. Which means every time you run through this, you're making that grounded, clear, self-honoring response feel a little more familiar — and your nervous system is wired to gravitate toward what feels familiar.
[🎧 Access the Mental Rehearsal here → [Daily Mental Rehearsal]
Come back to it as many times as you need this week. Daily if you can. The more you rehearse it, the more your system starts to trust it.
🎧 This Week on the Hustle Rebels Podcast
If you missed this week's episode, it was the first inaugural tool for the Hustle Rebels Toolbox - the tools and resources for the listeners of the podcast - which is going to be designated as Toolbox Tuesday.
I sat down with Christopher Chamberlin — founder of Lionheart Transformative Coaching and creator of the Sovereign Identity Recode Method — and we got into why so many high performers still feel exhausted, restless, and stuck even when they're doing all the "right" things. We're talking survival mode, subconscious beliefs, nervous system dysregulation, and why more discipline is rarely the answer. It's a great one.
And if you know a man in your life who's been grinding through the same cycles and can't figure out why nothing's actually shifting — Christopher works with men specifically on exactly this. His Sovereign Man Experience is coming up May 8–10, 2026 — check it out here - The Sovereign Man Experience
Watch it here:
🎧 Listen Here [How High-Performers Break Free from Survival Mode | Nervous System, Identity & Burnout with Christopher Chamberlin]
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As always, I appreciate you guys and always here if you have questions or even a chat. Share the Weekly Recharge with a friend so they can be regulated just like you.
- Renae
Wayward Wellness Coaching
Hustle Rebels Podcast