Let's address the elephant in the room — and I mean that literally.
If you're reading this and thinking I don't remember signing up for this... you're not wrong, and you're not crazy. I'm going to explain. And if after reading this you decide it's not for you, no hard feelings — genuinely. The unsubscribe button exists and I respect it.
But if you can give me just a few minutes, I promise it'll make sense. And maybe, just maybe, you'll be glad you ended up here.
Okay. We need to talk.
A few days ago, I set up some kind of email integration — Perplexity, Calendly, a little tech wizardry I honestly cannot fully explain — and then something happened. An influx of subscribers.
74 new subscribers. In a day.
My first instinct? Bots. Obviously bots. I was ready to issue a full apology tour to my list and call it a glitch.
Except… I recognized them.
Faces from Zoom calls. Names from Calendly bookings. People I'd actually spoken to, connected with, exchanged ideas with. Somehow, some way, they all ended up here. Whether that was good magic or bad AI magic — the jury's still out. I'll know by how many of you unsubscribe after this.
"Allow me to re-introduce myself — my name is Hov..." H to the OV... except it's R to the EN-AE. And this is The Weekly Recharge.
So. If you're reading this for the first time and thinking what the f*ck, how did I get here, who is this woman* — hi. Pull up a chair. I've been waiting to meet you properly.
· · ·
My name is Renae.
Some of you know me as the firefighter paramedic from LinkedIn who built a program for police and fire departments. Some of you found me through the Hustle Rebels podcast — maybe you were a guest, maybe you slid into the DMs after an episode hit a little too close to home. Some of you remember me when I was calling myself a Nervous System Regulation coach at the very start of all this.
All of you would be correct.
And if you've made it this far without hitting spam — genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Especially the spam part. Because crawling out of the spam folder is a special kind of humbling and I'd really love to avoid it.
· · ·
I never planned to be here.
I worked my ass off to get onto a fire department after earning my paramedic license. Lost 100 pounds — not in the healthy, "I found my rhythm" kind of way. In the starving myself and running on fumes kind of way. Burning as many calories as possible through resistance training and cardio without completely passing out. Proving I could be just as strong, if not stronger, than the men standing beside me. Proving I could hack it.
And I loved my first department. Really loved it. Every place has its issues, but I felt accepted there. I had my fair share of questioning why I left — seeing the new department through rose-colored glasses, chasing the promises made by another chief that never came to fruition. But looking back now, it's funny how you needed to walk down a specific path even when you couldn't see where it was going.
Because leaving that first department led me to one that brought me to a crossroads with myself.
The last department I was at forced me to look at the version of Renae that was constantly running from identities that were making her crumble.
I thought I was burned out from EMS. I wasn't. I was burned out from carrying everything. From people pleasing. From hustling myself into the ground and never once putting myself first. From ignoring my body every single time it whispered — and then screamed — enough.
· · ·
And then my body stopped whispering.
I ate processed diet keto noodles, once, convinced I was at my healthiest. I went septic. Emergency surgery. Eight hours on a table.
When I woke up — not fully understanding what had just happened to me — the first thought that came into my head wasn't oh my god, what just happened?
It was: I need to text my chief and tell him I won't be in for my shift tomorrow.
His response wasn't Renae, don't worry about that right now. Heal.
It was: How are you going to manage your sick time?
And right behind that, a text from the union president: Why is the chief texting me about a sick bank for you?
Not concern. Not well wishes. Logistics.
That was the moment. That was the one that cracked it open.
We have been slaves to a system that wouldn't care if we die on that operating table.
Maybe my old identity needed to die on that table too. Maybe a part of it did.
It just took a couple of years, a grieving process, and a couple more surgeries to fully let go — because here I am now. Telling this story. To people who've been with me a while, and to 74 semi-strangers who were, let's say, enthusiastically enrolled in a newsletter they didn't fully sign up for.
· · ·
I'm not going to pretend I have it all figured out.
But I am here to give you permission to put yourself first. To help you learn the signs of burnout before your body has to make the decision for you. To explore nervous system regulation — not as a buzzword, but as a real, lived, embodied practice. To show you that there's a frequency underneath language, a way your nervous system communicates that most of us were never taught to listen to.
We don't have to burn ourselves to the ground to succeed. That's not strength. That's survival mode wearing a productivity costume.
And you deserve more than survival.
· · ·
If you've gotten this far — I'm genuinely, wholeheartedly thankful.
This is a lot different than a typical Weekly Recharge. But I needed to address the elephant in the room and introduce myself properly — not as a title or a credential, but as a person who's been exactly where you might be right now.
I hope you don't feel obligated to stay.
I hope you feel welcomed instead.
🎧 This Week on the Hustle Rebels Podcast
Since I was soaking up the last of a Mexico trip last week and Descript had other plans for me offline, here's the episode that's been sitting in the feed waiting for more ears on it:
Unpopular Opinion: Burnout Recovery Can Make You More Exhausted
Yeah. I said it. And I meant it. Recovery isn't a straight line — and sometimes the most exhausting part isn't the burnout itself. It's what happens when you finally stop.
Watch on Youtube:
🎧 Listen here: [Unpopular Opinion: Burnout Recovery Can Make You More Exhausted]
New here? Or feeling nostalgic?
Want to read previous newsletters?
Check em out here: [Read Previous Editions of The Weekly Recharge]
With so much love and zero regrets about the chaos..
P.S. — If someone forwarded this to you and you actually want to be here on purpose, you can subscribe by adding your email here → Subscribe to The Weekly Recharge. No Calendly magic required.
- Renae
Wayward Wellness Coaching
Hustle Rebels Podcast
