I saw a post the other day that said:
“You know what’s embarrassing? Nothing. We made that shit up. Go live.”
And honestly? It has been stuck in my head ever since. Because how often do we stop ourselves from doing something because of what someone might think?
What will they think about what I’m wearing? What if I look stupid? What if I draw too much attention to myself? What if someone judges me or thinks I'm a failure?
Meanwhile, that imaginary person isn’t even in the room — and we’ve already given them full authority over our decisions.
What if we shut that dumbass voice up and just… lived?
Wore what we wanted.
Said what we meant.
Tried the thing.
Took up space.
Let ourselves be seen.
Obviously, I’m not suggesting we do whatever the f*ck we want at someone else’s expense. That’s not confidence. That’s just being an asshole.
But you showing up confidently? Wearing something bold? Sharing your work? Expressing your personality? Or even... quit that job that's been sucking the life out of you?
That isn’t hurting anyone.
In fact, it might be the exact thing that opens an opportunity, creates a connection, or helps the right person notice you.
· · ·
Enter: Brenda from West Virginia
I love wearing tights with shorts. And because I have thick-ass thighs, booty shorts look best on me. Trust me, putting Bermuda shorts on these tree trunks isn’t helping anyone.
I also recently got an incredible, slightly unhinged Smarties-looking jacket to wear at gigs. And before playing a Ladies Night show, I put the whole outfit together and posted it on social media to hype up the night.
I looked fly as f*ck. Most people agreed.
Then some lady named Brenda from West Virginia commented: “Shorts to short no hose needed.”
First of all, Brenda, it’s too. Second, if you were trying to call me a hoe, at least commit to the insult and spell it correctly.
Third — and most importantly — what a wild thing to say publicly to a complete stranger. I mean... I'm not a viral influencer... I had like 23 likes at the time.
Now, I could have read that comment and thought:
Oh my gosh. Maybe the shorts really are too short. I shouldn’t wear that again. Is everybody is secretly thinking the same thing?
Absolutely f*cking not.
I’m not letting one person — who doesn’t know me and apparently has a complicated relationship with grammar — decide whether I feel good in an outfit I love. Brenda doesn’t get that kind of authority.
But here’s the thing... neither does the Brenda living inside your own head. One comment doesn’t get to cancel the whole room.
The rest of that post was filled with people raving about the outfit. There were far more people cheering me on than criticizing me.
Yet this is what our brains love to do: ignore the ten people saying, “You look incredible,” and obsess over the one person mumbling something shitty from the corner.
Sometimes that voice belongs to an actual person.
But most of the time, it’s our own:
You can’t do that. You’ll look stupid. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Who do you think you are? What will people say?
And suddenly, one imagined criticism becomes more important than the entire group of people who would love to see us show up fully as ourselves. Hell, most of them are too busy worrying about what you think of them to spend much time judging you.
· · ·
But I wanna let you in on a little secret I've learned lately... Embarrassment requires your participation.
Someone else can attempt to embarrass you. They can make a comment, roll their eyes, misunderstand you, or decide they don’t like what you’re doing.
But you’re the one who decides whether their opinion becomes your identity. You’re the one who decides whether one comment changes how you dress, speak, create, lead, perform, or live.
That doesn’t mean criticism never stings. We’re human. Sometimes it lands. AND sometimes constructive criticism is warranted.
But there’s a difference between feeling the sting and restructuring your life around it.
You don’t need to make yourself smaller just because someone else is uncomfortable watching you take up space. And you definitely don’t need to pre-reject yourself on behalf of people who haven’t even said anything.
Because you have no idea what being yourself could lead to.
The outfit you almost didn’t wear might get you noticed by someone who loves your energy. The opinion you almost didn’t share might start an important conversation. The video you almost didn’t post might reach the exact person who needed it.
The event you almost skipped might introduce you to a future friend, partner, client, collaborator, or opportunity.
You truly never know where being fully yourself might lead. But you’ll never find out if you keep editing yourself into a version that feels acceptable to everyone.
Life is too short to let the menial opinions of simple minds determine how much of yourself the world gets to see — especially when there are millions of other people who might be rooting for exactly who you are.
Brenda is not your target audience.
Stop dressing for her.
Stop creating for her.
Stop living for her.
· · ·
This Week’s Practice: Anti-Embarrassment Experiment
Pick one thing you’ve been avoiding because you’re afraid it might look embarrassing, attention-seeking, weird, cringey, or “too much.”
Maybe it’s:
- Wearing the outfit
- Posting the video
- Sharing your opinion
- Going somewhere alone
- Introducing yourself
- Asking for the opportunity
- Trying something you might not immediately be good at
Before you back out, ask yourself:
Is this actually harmful — or am I just afraid of being seen?
Then do it before the imaginary committee in your head schedules another meeting.
Or... Don't even give yourself the 5 seconds to allow yourself to change your mind. I use that trick often and it truly works.
You might feel awkward. Someone might even judge you.
Let them.
They can watch you live while they sit there worrying about your shorts.
Go live.
· · ·
🎧 This Week on the Hustle Rebels Podcast
🎙️ In Case You Missed It...What if your best employee isn’t the person willing to sacrifice everything for the job?
Last week, I broke down three reasons employees with healthy boundaries can create stronger teams, better leaders, and workplaces people actually want to stay in.
Because rewarding endless overtime, unused sick time, and constant availability isn’t building loyalty — it’s building burnout with a countdown clock.
Watch on YouTube:
Listen Here: [Employee Burnout Isn’t Loyalty: Why Boundaries Create Better Leaders & Workplace Culture]
· · ·
At the end of the day, someone will always have an opinion about how you dress, what you say, what you create, or how boldly you choose to live.
Let them. Their discomfort is not your instruction manual.
Wear the shorts. Post the thing. Take up the damn space. Find the job you deserve to be at. The people meant for you will recognize you...
... and Brenda can work on her grammar.
Until next week, go live.
- Renae
Hustle Rebels
Hustle Rebels Podcast
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