You know how they say there are basically different versions of you living in everyone else’s head?
There’s the version your best friend knows. The version your partner knows. Your coworkers. Your family. And well, the lady at the Walgreens pharmacy down the street definitely has a version of me in her head.
And that version is the bitch.
Lol.
And if we’re being fair here, I have my own version of her too. 💁🏻♀️ We do not have a friendly relationship.
I won’t go into all the details, BUT let’s just say there have been several situations involving a medication that is an absolute bitch to get when it’s out of stock.
It’s Adderall.
There. I said it.
And anyone who takes it knows exactly what I’m talking about. If your pharmacy doesn’t have it, it’s not exactly, “Oh okay, I’ll grab it somewhere else!”
Nope. Not how it works.
Now you’re calling pharmacies, calling your doctor, trying to figure out who has it, getting the prescription sent somewhere else… Because, you know, we can't just have the real, paper prescription anymore...
And this particular woman has historically been about as forthcoming with information as a CIA operative. Secret squirrel shit.
Meanwhile, Nick and I are basically like: WE JUST WANT OUR DAMN MEDS.
And I’ve felt like we’re being treated like drug addicts trying to pull one over on Walgreens rather than two people attempting to pick up prescriptions our doctor wrote for us.
She’s not even the pharmacist.
Anyway.
I digress.
This month, we went through our typical hoops.
Except this time, I called and got irritated because apparently I had to wait another seven days before I could pick up my prescription. And given our history, I immediately assumed I knew what was happening.
I basically said: Are you guys just out again and you’re not telling me? Because if you are, just tell me so I can get it filled somewhere else. There’s no way I would have waited an extra seven days last month.
Except…
There was, in fact, a way. Because I had been out of the f*cking country. 🙃 I couldn’t have picked it up on time.
The dates were correct. She was correct. I was wrong.
F*ck me.
And there was something particularly humbling about realizing that the person you’ve already decided is being difficult... is not actually being difficult this time.
So now I have to go back into this pharmacy. A place where my sphincter tightens every time I walk through the door because I’m already anticipating the interaction.
This woman remembers my last name already just seeing my reflection in those little mirrors on the ceiling. That’s where we’re at.
And while I was thinking about having to go back in there, something dawned on me: I don’t want to be the reason someone else has a bad day. Not because I need her to like me.
Frankly, I don't care.
And this isn’t some grand realization that I need to become nicer so everybody has a positive opinion of me. F*ck that.
You cannot control the version of you that exists in someone else’s head. But you can decide whether you’re actively giving them reasons to have a shitty experience with you. And this time, I contributed to it.
· · ·
So I’ve decided it’s time for a truce. Operation Dunkin’ Peace Treaty
My plan is to walk into Walgreens with a dozen donuts and a Box O’ Joe from Dunks and basically say:
“Hey. I know I’m a douchebag sometimes. This world sucks enough already and I don’t want to make it worse. I’m sorry.”
Who doesn’t like donuts and coffee?
I mean…
I don’t.
But most people do. It’s the thought that counts?
· · ·
And here’s what I realized while plotting my incredibly sophisticated international peace negotiation: Do you know how much f*cking energy it takes to maintain a feud?
I see her → my body braces.
She sees me → for all I know, hers does too.
Before either one of us has even said anything, we're anticipating bullshit. We’re walking into an interaction already expecting the other person to be an asshole. And when your brain expects something enough times, your body starts preparing for it before it’s even happened.
Walgreens lady = conflict.
Pharmacy = annoyance.
Her seeing my reflection = prepare for battle.
At some point, you have to ask: Am I actually protecting myself here… or have we both just gotten really good at expecting the worst from each other?
Because those aren’t the same thing. And neither is apologizing and people-pleasing.
People-pleasing would be needing her to like me. Tipping toeing around so she doesn’t get upset. Putting on my fake Mayor McCheese voice and smile (as Nick calls it) and pretending to be nice.
This isn’t that. This is: I don’t have to like you to stop contributing to this.
I can own the part that’s mine. I can decide I don’t want to carry the tension anymore. And I can change my side of the interaction without requiring her to change hers.
Maybe she accepts my donut diplomacy or she thinks I’ve officially lost my mind. Maybe she takes the Boston cream and continues hating me.
That’s really none of my business. But I did my best to heal the tension and that’s all I can control.
· · ·
This Week’s Practice: Break The Tension
Think about one person you regularly interact with where there’s just… tension.
Not someone abusive or someone you need a stronger boundary with. We’re not delivering donuts to toxic exes in the name of nervous-system regulation.
I’m talking about the coworker. The neighbor. The bitchy receptionist or that one annoying family member.
You know... the pharmacy employee who knows your last name as soon as they see your reflection in the ceiling mirror.
And ask yourself: Am I protecting myself here… or have we both just gotten really good at expecting the worst from each other?
If it’s the second one, see what happens if you interrupt the pattern. You don’t have to become friends or abandon your boundaries. You don’t even need them to respond well.
Just make sure you’re not the reason their day got worse.
As for me? Operation Dunkin’ Peace Treaty is officially underway.
Will this finally end the Walgreens Cold War? Will she still seeing my reflection in the ceiling mirror and immediately cringe? Will I finally be able to pick up my Adderall without my sphincter tightening?
I have absolutely no idea.
I still have to go pick it up.
I’ll keep you posted.
· · ·
🎧 This Week on the Hustle Rebels Podcast
🎙️ In Case You Missed It...Last week I sat down with Robyn Godfrey, who started running for just 30 seconds at age 47 and eventually completed all six World Marathon Majors.
But the conversation wasn’t really about running.
We talked about what happens when you stop waiting to feel motivated and start taking ridiculously small actions toward something that actually matters to you — especially when you’re burned out, changing careers, rebuilding your identity, or wondering whether it’s too late to start something new.
We also got into the difference between working hard for something you actually want and sacrificing yourself for a system that couldn’t give two shits about you.
Sometimes you don’t need the motivation to change your whole life.
You just need the next 30 seconds.
Go listen to the full conversation with Robyn on Hustle Rebels wherever you get your podcasts.
Watch on YouTube:
Listen Here: [How to Overcome Burnout Without Waiting for Motivation | Robyn Godfrey]
· · ·
And with that, I’m off to attempt diplomatic relations with Walgreens.
Wish me luck.
- Renae
Wayward Wellness Coaching
Hustle Rebels Podcast
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