If this email lands around lunchtime, just know I’m intentionally keeping this story PG.
Because while I’m a paramedic and can watch brains scattered on the curb and still finish my chicken salad with cukes and grapes… I’m aware that I’m not the standard model. And you shouldn’t have to be.
Here’s the version you can read while eating:
After my intestinal and back surgeries — plus being forced on a truly heroic amount of antibiotics — my digestive system was absolutely tanked.
So I finally pulled the trigger on healing my gut with an all-natural company I’d been following for a while (Silver Fern... for anyone curious. No affiliates, just a pure tried-and-true recommendation).
One would think that once you start a healing journey, things will begin to look up, right?
Sure, you might hit some bumps in the road, but nothing catastrophic, of course... right?...
Nope. Absolutely not.
Because then… what happened next was something I never would’ve expected:
The WORST digestive issues.
I’m talking 3am “hot butter knife” pain sliding into your side, the kind that makes you reconsider every life choice you’ve ever made and maybe text God like, “Hey… quick question.”
For. Days.
So I reached out to the company like:
“Either something is wrong with your product, or my body is reacting poorly.”
And their response — translated into my language — was basically:
“Nope. That is normal, especially when your system is really… f*cked up. You’re not broken. You’re clearing house.” And recommended to dial it down a bit.
(They didn’t say it like that. But that’s absolutely what it meant.)
And it hit me:
Sometimes the first sign something is working is that it gets louder before it gets quieter.
Because healing isn’t always a gentle exhale into a sunbeam.
Sometimes healing is debridement.
If you’ve ever seen a wound get cleaned out, you know it isn’t pretty. It can look worse mid-process. Angry. Inflamed. Reactive.
But leaving the junk in there doesn’t make it heal.
It makes it fester.
Why I’m telling you this (whether you were in the masterclass or not)
Recently I ran a 3-day Burn the Blueprint: Masterclass on identity, conditioning, and burnout. Some of you were there live. A lot of you weren’t.
But this part applies to all of you:
Whenever you start doing this kind of work — whether it’s inside a program with me, in therapy, through books, journaling, or just brutally honest self-reflection — there’s usually a phase nobody advertises... Because people want to dress it up and make it look pretty.
But healing isn't cotton candy, sunshine and rainbows.
It's wrestling with who you are now when you look in the mirror and don't recognize that person anymore.
It's pushing through physical therapy during recoveries, your muscles shaking, knowing those same muscles used to be so strong — but now can barely lift your body weight.
It's speaking your truth with a shaky voice because you're finally standing up for yourself — but questioning the consequences of maintaining the boundaries your nervous system has craved for so long.
It's asking for more money because you know your worth — then ruminating on whether it was too much and if you truly deserve that.
The part where it feels worse before it feels better.
You might feel raw. Wired. Tired. Emotional. Irritable. Flat.
You might feel like you cracked something open and now you can’t unsee it.
That doesn’t mean you’re regressing.
That doesn’t mean it “didn’t work.”
That means your nervous system is adjusting to the fact that the old identity isn’t driving anymore.
When you stop performing the version of you that kept everyone comfortable… your system can protest. Not because the new you is wrong.
Because the old you was familiar.
And familiar can feel like security — even when it was quietly wrecking you.
So this week isn’t about hype.
It’s about integration.
This Week’s Debridement Protocol (Pick 2)
1) The 90-Second Downshift (when your brain starts time-traveling):
- Feet on the floor.
- Unclench your jaw.
- Drop your shoulders.
- Inhale normally.
- Exhale longer than you inhale.
6 times. Boring. Effective. Do it anyway.
2) Containment Journal (because spiraling isn’t processing):
- Set a timer for 8 minutes.
- Write the chaos (Brain dump).
- Then stop.
You’re teaching your system: “We can feel this without living here.”
3) One Micro-Proof Rep:
Pick one tiny action that matches the identity you’re building.
One boundary. One honest sentence. One aligned choice.
Not a reinvention. A rep. Here are some examples from the Masterclass:
- I’m allowed to be direct and have boundaries without being cruel.
- I’m allowed to rest without earning it.
- I’m allowed to get the recognition I deserve for the work I put in.
- I’m allowed to be supported and ask for help when I need it.
4) No Decisions While Activated:
If you’re wired, tight, doom-y, or emotionally loud — don’t make identity decisions.
Make body decisions: water, food, a walk, movement, a shower, sleep.
Then reassess.
One question to sit with this week
What am I clearing out right now that I used to call “just who I am”?
Because “who you are” isn’t the same thing as what you learned to do to be accepted.
And if things feel a little louder this week?
Good.
That means you touched something real.
Want to go deeper with this?
If you’re curious about what we did inside the 3-day Burn the Blueprint: Masterclass, I’ve got the full thing set up as a private YouTube course.
Right now, it’s free.
I can’t promise it’ll be free forever.
And I can’t promise that the next time I run it live, it’ll be free either.
If you want access to the replays, follow the link below. It'll lead you to the private Youtube course.
[3-Day Burn the Blueprint: Masterclass]
And if this email is hitting something deep — and you already know you want more than just a few newsletters and one masterclass to hold this —
My 4-week self-paced course Burn the Blueprint is where we do the actual rebuild.
Not by becoming a “better” version of you.
By coming home to the real one.
There's also a great Podcast interview coming out tomorrow where my guest talks about "Even Achieving" and not living like every day is a championship game. You're not gonna want to miss it. Listen to last week's here, where I set the stage for it and subscribe so you know when it drops tomorrow morning.
Apple Podcast - [Hustle Rebels - You Don't Have To Give Your All To Give Your Best]
Spotify -
As always, I appreciate you guys and always here if you have questions or even a chat. Share the Weekly Recharge with a friend so they can be regulated just like you.
- Renae
Wayward Wellness Coaching
Hustle Rebels Podcast
