Wayward Wellness Coaching

The Boundary Hangover

When the adrenaline rush of power feels electric — until the crash punches harder than a stepdad protecting Monday Night Football.

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Hey Reader,

Last year, I played a wedding gig that tested every ounce of my professionalism.

At the *very* last minute...while I was walking the dogs for one last sniff walk, literally 2 hours before we were supposed to leave...we were notified that the area meant to fit our duo got cut in half.
They still expected the full setup — both of us — to cram in and make it work. Ya — good luck there, buddy.

So, I made the executive decision: I’d just play it solo.
They’d still have to pay the same rate.
I smiled, nodded, and acted like that call didn’t spike my heart rate through the roof — I hadn't even discussed it with Nick! He was in the shower, we were on the walk, it was raining...chaos!

I set up my shit — a little pissed off, I may add.

Then the crowd rolled in.
People started leaning on my equipment.
Someone set their drink on my amp.
The endless, “Hey, I need this clear. Please move" statements began.
Then I asked the DJ, half-joking, half-serious, to keep people from getting too close to my shit.

Every cell in my body wanted to shrink, to smooth it over, to say “Sorry!” — but I didn’t.
​I held my ground. I got through it.
And on the outside, I looked composed.

But on the inside? My nervous system was lighting up like a pinball machine.

As I was packing up, I passed the wedding-cake table.
And in a moment of quiet rebellion, I cut myself a slice, wrapped it up, and took it home.
Call it my f*ck-you tax (or for those keeping it PG - the Rude Tax) — a tiny, sugary act of restitution for holding it all together when my body wanted to implode.

Later that night, fork in hand, the crash hit.
The overthinking. The guilt. The “Was I too harsh? Too cold? Too much?” spiral.

That’s the part no one talks about when you finally start standing your ground — the crash after courage.

That wave of guilt or exhaustion that follows?
It’s not proof you did something wrong.
It’s your body detoxing from survival mode.

That’s what I call the boundary hangover.​
When your integrity’s proud — but your nervous system hasn’t caught up yet.

So Here’s What’s Actually Happening

That “crash” after standing your ground? It’s a biochemical correction.

When you set a boundary, your sympathetic system spikes — adrenaline, cortisol, all the stuff that once kept you “safe” when you were people-pleasing.
When the threat’s over, your parasympathetic system tries to pull you back down, but the swing feels like anxiety, guilt, or exhaustion.

It’s not emotional weakness — it’s autonomic whiplash.

If you want to recover faster:

1. Move your body — walk, stretch, shake. Let the cortisol clear.
2. Name it out loud: “This is my nervous system recalibrating.”
3. Hydrate + eat something with protein. Physical fuel helps chemical reset. Maybe skip the cake.
4. Do not text the apology. Sit through the discomfort. It passes.
5. Try this breathing reset (credit to Mel Robbins): Two quick inhales through the nose, one extended exhale through the mouth.
   • Do it a few times and you’ll feel the shift.
   • Do it for 30 seconds, and you’ll feel that post-boundary anxiety transmute into energetic wealth in your nervous-system bank account.

Practice (and repetition) makes perfect.
Your nervous system thrives on repetition — the more you stand your ground and remember that boundaries are about capacity, not control,
the easier balancing that energy bank account at the end of the week will be.

P.S. The cake? It was delicious.
And honestly — it tasted a little like freedom.

See you next Wednesday - and as always, if you liked this, forward it to a friend so they can join the fam too.

- Renae

By the way…

The YouTube Channel is officially up and running! The new mini series, The Nervous System Economy has begun. Catch the first episode *HERE* and *SUBSCRIBE* to catch the weekly videos that drop every Thursday.