Wayward Wellness Coaching

Breaking the Feedback Loop

My Dog Peed on Everything I Owned - Here’s What It Taught Me About Regulation (see the culprit at the end...)

Because sometimes nervous-system work starts with a mop and a meltdown.

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Hey Reader,

When I tell you this past year with Marley tested my nervous system more than anything else - I mean it.

We officially hit one year since adopting him, and while I’d love to say it’s been heartwarming and healing… it’s been a full-blown exercise in nervous system capacity.

Because here’s the truth - I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I considered cutting a hole in the fence and hoping a nice family would “find” him.

See, Marley was supposed to be the young, playful balance to our old girl, Mookie - the dog that kept her young, and kept Nick company when I traveled...and just blended right in.

But something in his little trauma brain got activated by me.
And whatever it was, it spiraled hard - cue the pissing.
The bed. The couch. The rug. Mookie’s bed. Mookie’s blanket. His crate.
​Repeat.

Three months of this.
​Three months of boiling inside.
​Three months of washing everything I owned until I almost broke the washer - which, of course, led to flooding the basement.

Turns out the drain got clogged from all the comforter loads, which shook an ancient brass fitting loose (bless Nick for figuring that out before I threw in the towel on everything… including Marley...as I was crying on my way to the vet, begging for them to give him something for his anxiety...or *mine*...sedate us both at this point!).

But here’s what I didn’t see then - my nervous system was fried.
And fried nervous systems attract fried behavior.

His trauma fed off my tension.
My frustration became his fear.
We were trapped in the same cycle - both of us reacting, both of us dysregulated.

When I finally brought in a trainer, it wasn’t just about fixing Marley - it was about fixing our feedback loop.​
Because nervous system regulation doesn’t just heal people.
It heals connection.
It heals relationships.
Even with dogs.

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Lean in with me for a sec:

When you find yourself in a feedback loop like this - with a partner, a coworker, a kid, even a dog - the first move isn’t to fix them.​
It’s to regulate you.

🎥 I actually broke this down more in a short video on my YouTube channel - “How My Rescue Dog's Submissive Peeing Taught Me About Nervous System Regulation” Watch it HERE (And Subscribe to get weekly video tips).

Then you can follow these quick regulation steps without anyone even noticing or knowing:

• Step back before you step in (mentally or even physically!)
• Breathe before you speak (2 short inhales through the nose and one long exhale through the mouth helps reset the vagus nerve)
• Soften your jaw. Drop your shoulders. Feel your feet on the floor (posture can make a big difference in a mental shift)

Your body is the thermostat that sets the tone of the room.
When you lower your internal temperature, everything around you starts to cool with you.
That’s the moment the loop breaks.
​That’s how calm becomes contagious.

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Now, a year later, Marley and I are finally good.
We snuggle every single morning.
He looks to me for guidance.
And every time I catch him sitting there with his eyes closed, breathing in the air like a tiny monk… I swear, I can feel both of our nervous systems finally exhale.

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Wayward Takeaway:

If your own “Marley moment” has been testing every ounce of your patience - it’s not life being cruel.
It’s your body asking for capacity.
For calm.
For space to breathe again.

And if that resonates, I’m hosting a transformative live workshop called “The Energy Audit” on Thursday, November 13th - where we’ll dig into exactly this:
👉 How to manage burnout
👉 Build boundaries that actually stick
👉 Take control of your energy like your most valuable currency

I’ll have all the details for you soon, but for now - mark your calendars.
Because this one’s going to change how you see burnout… and how you rebuild from it.

See you next Wednesday - and as always, if you liked this, forward it to a friend so they can join the fam too.

- Renae